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Jan. 20th, 2006 | 09:37 pm
mood: depressedVery depressed.
music: I Can't Help Falling in Love with You -Elvis-

If you don't get it, you might not want to read it...

You ever say you understand something and you don't?
Ever have that be something you THINK you understand?
Ever have it matter to you a lot?
I mean, a whole lot?

Ever love someone so much, so very much, that them not loving you back didn't make sense?
That,the thought of those feelings not being mutual just, physically COULD NOT enter your mind?
Even after you said you got it?

Ever hear, "Friends or nothing,"?
Ever think that meant nothing?
Ever grasp what it means a DAY later?
Ever watch your own heart break a thousand times?
Ever watch yourself pick up the pieces?
Ever watch the pieces break ten thousand times?
Ever watch yourself die inside?
I really mean watch it. Watch it be swallowed by an abyss of sorrow and darkness?
Ever take all that, and write an Ode to Woe? A real ode to woe.
I guess I'm crazy. I guess that I'm a looser.
I guess.... I guess that I'm a stupid jerk.
But, you know what...?

Ever love someone enough to make yourself cry?
Ever tell everyone that crying is something you won't stand for?
Ever feel like an ass for that?

Ever want it to just end?

You know what? I don't think I'm a bad person. I just... I just don't think I can make that mistake ever again. Because, if I did, I think I might just not be able to take the strain. I think it might just really kill me... Kill me in a way that is worse than a thousand deaths, and a thousand hells, and thousand times that I'd have followed that path... In all honesty... My life is fucking cooshy... I don't do too much, and I lead a happy life.

Brit, if you read this, know this: I will love you till the end of time. And that might be what kills me.
Brit, if I die... When, I suppose, is the best statement, I die, take care of yourself. When our paths cease to cross, and my life looses what little meaning it has... I hope that you find happiness... And, I will love you for that, and I will love you for breaking me. Because you did, and my life is a lot more dead. Maybe, maybe I can save it. But, likely not.

EDIT: I cried out... Splended. I don't care anymore... Life... Heh... I heal faster than I thought I could... My heart is broken, I just... don't care anymore. Which makes me sad again... on and on we go...

Always a fool in love,

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